I'm scared of you. I'm scared to talk to you. I'm scared that if I call you, you'd have this sound in your voice like you don't want to talk to me. I'm scared that if I call you, you would say you're busy and make me feel lost. I'm scared that if I call you, you wouldn't pick up and I'd have to leave a miss call and you'd see it, and call me back and ask what I wanted. or just not call back at all and i'll just be thinking that you were really true to your words that you just don't want to talk to me, at all. I'm scared if I call you that it'll be the last time. I'm scared if I call you, I'd know the truth and I'm scared of the truth. I hate the idea of not being with you anymore. I hate the idea of not being able to talk to you. I hate the idea of the promises that we made will be forgotten. I hate the idea of losing you, again. I'm scared that if I call you, I'd suffer a breakdown. I just want to get things sorted out but I'm scared it won't turn out the way I want it to be. I'm scared that some part of me wouldn't take it easily. yknow?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for complaining about too many things at one time. but whatever happened to I'll always love you and I'll always be there for you if you need me. ? I needed you, and you-- you-- you just left me. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I don't think I understand things anymore. I don't know what to believe because I don't know if what people say are just words of mouth or words from heart. I'm just simply lost.

I know you have you're reasons. Tell them to me so that I won't be left confused. Tell them to me so I'd know what to do. Talk to me so that I know where I stand in your life. Everyone tells me to be strong. Just forget about you. But how can I? It's been almost 3 years. Your name is everywhere in every single thing I own. I know that this is probably a good thing, yknow, not being together. Honestly. I think it is. But it's making me feel like a coward of the way it was situated. When you're ready to talk. I'm just a phone call away.

No, I'm not some emo shit but I needed to write somewhere. This was the only deserted place I could right my sappy shindigs.